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Lo the winds howl "Never you roam the mist"
Wander you far across lands, forest & desert sea
Or dream you deep in a cloudless sky ...
Yet a presence looms & beckons, spirits unseen
For they are the Djinn, silent and ever watching,
embalmed into seasons of mortal blood-flow
And beware, for I shalt not speak of this again,
lest darkness unto thy flesh they quest and sow

Eons adrift in smokeless fire did they slumber...
Befallen to Earth's domain, they undressed fate
The Djinn, ancient dwellers humans would fear
Betwixt worlds they linger, shimmering in fire
Thru parallel dimensions they reach, seducing
dreams and reality, life... You!
Peering eyes thru the veil of time and space;
shape shifters of any form, stalk and hunt
Thoughts & flesh canst not escape their magick
Besieged and shadowed, the human race —
til they are sent back to whence they came
And death became a wanton treasure,
where Angels pillage & Demons lust in flame

"You should never have come human"
— spoke a voice in the winds
"I have been here since the dawn of time,
and I shall cast thee out in tempest!"

Artisans weep in hallucinations of the Sun
Silhouettes bejewel valleys and mountain peaks
Roots of trees swirl beneath fields cast in dew
— patterns of chaos woven into Nature's fabric;
incantations leeching into the bones of men
        — eternal whispers summon —
"dream deeper... drink you my wine"
As Serpents gaze thru constellations sable,
perfumed tongues flicker dread and fable

The wilderness of the spirit world ebbs & hums,
like a kaleidoscope of mysterium
A supernatural feast, duels of light and dark
Only where the sweetest pollen dwells,
the Djinn gather intoxicated and tamed —
fleeting moments of love bestowed
But seek you neither hope nor silk of splendor
Alas, when the Sun bows to Night's pitch,
mythical beasts enchant the world anew
Destiny bleeds in estuaries of liquid horizons,
— an exodus of souls in darkest serenade  
Ash & lullaby's falling softly into the abyss
Spirits covet and devour, unto we fade



— Arthur Crow © 2012
Part of a short series I have been asked to do for publication


DO NOT DOWNLOAD MY WORK

:icondonotuseplz::iconmyartplz:
Add a Comment:
 
:icontalltalesofrodcairn:
TallTalesOfRodcairn Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is epic! I can picture this scene as though it's in front of me
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014  Professional Writer
Thank you for reading :)
Reply
:iconlovelyz:
LovelyZ Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Totally, you are an amazing poet
Reply
:iconlovelyz:
LovelyZ Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is seriously good, I really love your work so far
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012  Professional Writer
I really appreciate that, and so pleased you enjoy what I do :love:
Reply
:iconzireael07:
Zireael07 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is amazing!
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you :)
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012   General Artist
The beauty in your choice of words and the pacing in your poetry is fantastic. :clap:
I've only begun to strum through your gallery and if there's one general comment I can give you it's that I absolutely adore your word choices. Your poetic vocabulary is both powerful and stunning. :heart:
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Professional Writer
Many thanks to you for your generous remarks, and for enjoying my scribe :)
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012   General Artist
You are most welcome, dear sir! :heart:
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Considering you put in so much effort in writing something this long, I might as well write what I felt over every stanza (which is a first time for me, by the way):

Lo the winds howl "Never you roam the mist"
Wander you far across lands, forest & desert sea
Or dream you deep in a cloudless sky ...
Yet a presence looms & beckons, spirits unseen
For they are the Djinn, silent and ever watching,
embalmed into seasons of mortal blood-flow
And beware, for I shalt not speak of this again,
lest darkness unto thy flesh they quest and sow


This is a good opening... though I must insist on there being a comma at "Lo the winds"; a semi-colon at "spirits unseen"; a full stop at "blood-flow"; and an elipses at "sow". By the way, the ending rhyme is amazingly done.

Eons adrift in smokeless fire did they slumber...
Befallen to Earth's domain, they undressed fate
The Djinn, ancient dwellers humans would fear
Betwixt worlds they linger, shimmering in fire
Thru parallel dimensions they reach, seducing
dreams and reality, life... You!
Peering eyes thru the veil of time and space;
shape shifters of any form, stalk and hunt
Thoughts & flesh canst not escape their magick
Besieged and shadowed, the human race —
til they are sent back to whence they came
And death became a wanton treasure,
where Angels pillage & Demons lust in flame


I can understand the use of "thru", but you should use "till" rather than "til"... having said that, put a comma at "magick"; and a full stop at "came". Having said that, the line "And death became a wanton treasure" reminded me a lot of "And death shall have no dominion" by Dylan Thomas... eerie emotion.

"You should never have come human"
— spoke a voice in the winds
"I have been here since the dawn of time,
and I shall cast thee out in tempest!"

Artisans weep in hallucinations of the Sun
Silhouettes bejewel valleys and mountain peaks
Roots of trees swirl beneath fields cast in dew
— patterns of chaos woven into Nature's fabric;
incantations leeching into the bones of men
— eternal whispers summon —
"dream deeper... drink you my wine"
As Serpents gaze thru constellations sable,
perfumed tongues flicker dread and fable


The best stanza in the poem, in my opinion. Add a comma after "drink you", and an exclamation mark after "wine"; by the way, the couplet at the end is well thought out. I like that.

The wilderness of the spirit world ebbs & hums,
like a kaleidoscope of mysterium
A supernatural feast, duels of light and dark
Only where the sweetest pollen dwells,
the Djinn gather intoxicated and tamed —
fleeting moments of love bestowed
But seek you neither hope nor silk of splendor
Alas, when the Sun bows to Night's pitch,
mythical beasts enchant the world anew
Destiny bleeds in estuaries of liquid horizons,
— an exodus of souls in darkest serenade
Ash & lullaby's falling softly into the abyss
Spirits covet and devour, unto we fade


This needs no correction. I like it the way it is. Well done.

Overall, one emoticon expresses my emotional attachment to this poem: :clap:

For a person who has been on dA for six months only, this is good stuff. Well done. :)

Keep posting.
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Professional Writer
Much appreciate the time you took to give your thoughts on this. Cheers.
I can be rather lazy when it comes to grammar, so it's good to have someone who is
literate enough to point out where improvements can be made.

Thank you again, and happy you enjoyed! :)
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:) Cheers!

Yeah, if you could improve those small tid bits, your work would become awesome :lol:.

Your welcome :) Keep writing.
Reply
:iconnoorelven:
noorelven Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
havent seen a more EPIC piece on Djinn before!
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you very much :)
Reply
:iconnoorelven:
noorelven Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2012
welcome :D
Reply
:iconaqua-breeze:
Aqua-Breeze Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
"Artisans weep in hallucinations of the Sun Silhouettes bejewel valleys and mountain peaks Roots of trees swirl beneath fields cast in dew %u2014 patterns of chaos woven into Nature's fabric"
Wonderfully worded sweetie :)
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Professional Writer
Love and many thanks. I'm totally addicted to your flattery ;)

:heart:
Reply
:iconfleeting-epiphany:
Fleeting-Epiphany Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012
Well done my friend.
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you very much :)
Reply
:iconallison731:
allison731 Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats, you got :icongrin--plz: ticket in :iconwhispermewish: group.
This is gift for all high quality works in our group which have not some badge.
Congrats, your work will stay in our group and we will advertise it as best we can. :iconthumbsupplz:
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2012  Professional Writer
Hey I really appreciate that, thank you very much :) :love:
Reply
:iconallison731:
allison731 Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you too what you include your great work in our group. :thumbsup:
Reply
:iconguitarangel1495:
guitarangel1495 Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012
pretty cool, nice descriptions/imagery. its funny i thought u were talking about werewolves at 1st until i looked up djinn on google images and then i was like omg its aladdin geanie gone demonic >_<
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2012  Professional Writer
Thanks. And yes that's basically what they are - demonic genie's :)
Reply
:iconparchmentgirl:
parchmentgirl Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2012  Student Writer
This poem is a fantastic piece of work and the theme is wonderfully presented throughout. However, there are moments when I wonder if you've used the right phrasing. "for I shalt not speak of this again,
lest darkness unto thy flesh they quest and sow". The second to last line seems to suggest that you are speaking in the singular, while "lest darkness unto they flesh they quest and sow", this suggest individuals in the plural questing and sewing darkness onto flesh. It makes it a little unclear as to what you mean exactly.
I found a similar quibble with "ancient dwellers humans". Should this perhaps be "ancient dweller humans" and refer to humans as the ancient dwellers, or perhaps a comma after dwellers so it reads, "ancient dwellers, humans"?
The line "Besieged and shadowed, the human race-" is utterly wonderful. It has to be my favorite out of the poem, it simply reads so well.
This is certainly an outstanding piece of literature.
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you for reading my scribe, I really appreciate the great response :)

The first stanza is written in a 'prelude sense' which is why it feels singular.

"lest darkness unto they flesh they quest and sow"
That's actually 'thy' flesh they quest and sow

'Should this perhaps be "ancient dweller humans" and refer to humans as the ancient dwellers, or perhaps a comma after dwellers so it reads, "ancient dwellers, humans"?

In context, it's one sentence: "ancient dwellers humans would fear"

Thanks again for reading, my metaphors and style is not always easy to understand, but happy you enjoyed!

Cheers
Reply
:iconmylifeasafish:
MyLifeAsAFish Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This was such a beautiful piece. It was very enchanting and vivid. Such a pleasure to read!
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you for viewing :)
Reply
:iconxxemojesterjulianaxx:
xxemojesterjulianaxx Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
My god this is beautiful. More lyrical than Sylvia Plath. Sounds nice when read to Audiomachine or Two Steps from Hell
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2012  Professional Writer
Well thanks so much... just happy you liked it. Really appreciate your comments.
Reply
:iconnikefuretta:
nikefuretta Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Hope there will be an italian publication of your works... an international publication, better...

This one is very evocative, I really like it.
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2012  Professional Writer
Hi, thank you, glad you enjoyed reading. Well maybe that can be
possible one day.. I'll definitely keep that idea alive!
Reply
:iconinthestarrynightsky:
InTheStarryNightSky Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2012
A beautiful amazing piece. Simply lovely.
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you so dearly my treasured friend :)
Reply
:iconinthestarrynightsky:
InTheStarryNightSky Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2012
You're welcome. :aww:
Reply
:iconwithwords:
WithWords Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2012
Djinns, 'smokeless fire', I recognise this. And the atmosphere you build up is beautiful, like the aurora - but I also shiver a little bit, because I'm still not sure what djinns are. and the thought of such a mysterious being, out of reach, that scares me.

I don't understand the final line... '...unto we fade.'
We fade? But we're human and fleshy, how do you mean?
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2012  Professional Writer
Hi thanks for reading. The Djinn, according to Arabic mythology, are spirits that were here before humanity... wicked in nature, seeing to remove us and claim back this realm.

"unto we fade" that's a metaphor for: humans slowly fading into dust, death
Reply
:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Student Writer
As always, you wrote a piece full of mysticism and passion...the imagery is absolutely stunning!

Congratulations on the publication offer!
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you so very much... I always appreciate your feedback.
Glad you enjoyed the flavor of this one :)
Reply
:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Student Writer
You are welcome! Of course I enjoyed it, it was hard not to! (I love a little spice ;))
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Professional Writer
You're a spice girl ;)
Reply
:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2012  Student Writer
Ha, I'll take that :hug:
Reply
:iconirideamagicalladle:
IRideAMagicalLadle Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:omg: whoa. That was intense!
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Professional Writer
Thanks, happy you liked reading it :)
Reply
:icongorybluecat:
GoryBlueCat Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Nice! ^u^
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you :)
Reply
:icongorybluecat:
GoryBlueCat Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
No problem :3
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Djinn sure are amazingly rendered. Well done :) the imagery is well done - can imagine these creations riding out with power and threatening dispositions keeping their sanctum intact.
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you for reading.. much appreciate your comments :)
Reply
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