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Soul dark her eyes bleed obsidian, like a fever of liquid-shadows,
seeking her lover damned…
And a myriad of talons will seed the sky — a primeval calling
of necromancy and lust untamed
Upon her breath, I whispered softly in winged-caress:
"cast thy nightscapes unto the ache of gossamer streams"
So she closed her eyes and her demon lover hungered long..
— Forever the Crow — shimmering in her darkest dreams



— Arthur Crow © 2012
:icondonotuseplz::iconmyartplz:
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:iconmichel-le-fou:
Art, your opening line may be the best. Soul dark eyes bleeding obsidian. This is truly a keen image. Fever of liquid shadows. The whole poem bears the mark of an attentive writer, and a poet of unique skill. I rarely read lines like this in postmodernist literature here. You could set the example, if enough writers read this.
A myriad of talons, primeval necromancy lust untamed. Thrilling metaphors. The quotation in italics was great. You show good imagination. I hope that you will continue writing in this vein.it is outstanding style and worthy of notice. I find almost nothing to complain here.
What do you think?
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:iconlacolombededeuil:
LaColombeDeDeuil Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2014  Professional General Artist
:blackrose:

~~Absolutely spot on with the imagery, you take me there in words and leave me behind to lie forever immersed in the dark beauty of it all. ~~

always,
katti
:blackrose:
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:iconbruiseviolet01:
BruiseViolet01 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2014
This is absolutely beautiful.
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:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014  Professional Writer
Thank you
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:iconclouded-rachel:
Clouded-Rachel Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Student Writer
This is gorgeous. Your imagery is absolutely stunning. Well done.
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:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner May 28, 2013  Professional Writer
Hey thanks so much, that's a wonderful response
Reply
:iconclouded-rachel:
Clouded-Rachel Featured By Owner May 28, 2013  Student Writer
You're welcome!
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:iconimaginative-lioness:
imaginative-lioness Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I have featured this piece in my journal: [link]
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:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you so much, really appreciate it
Reply
:iconmichel-le-fou:
Michel-le-fou Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Professional Writer
Art, i will criticise after a moment. I liked the opening of this poem.
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:iconasecretoutlet:
asecretoutlet Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
I have a list of favorite words, and you used four of them in this. (shadow, whisper, gossamer, shimmer) and I think I'm going to add obsidian.

We have a very similar taste in words; the only difference is that you have the ability to coherently incorporate them into your writing (consciously, unconsciously, however you do it XD) I'm totes jelly. It's beautiful :)
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:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Professional Writer
How cool is it to have all those favorite words in common :) That's good to know.
Honestly with me, there are certain words I can't stay away from.. I try not to use them too much in my writing (so as not to become too repetitive), but often can't help my self lol.
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:iconasecretoutlet:
asecretoutlet Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
lol, same here. I try to stay away from abstract and gravitate towards visual (to get the abstract across... prettier :D)
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:icondannymechanist:
DannyMechanist Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
one word .... awesome
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:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Professional Writer
Thanks my friend :)
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:icondannymechanist:
DannyMechanist Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
the pleasure's all mine... a fine piece you've produced here
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:iconaqua-breeze:
Aqua-Breeze Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I knew the crows were laughing at me today!
Lol lovely as always, my dear :)
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:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Professional Writer
And as always, thank you for your support :love:
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:iconaqua-breeze:
Aqua-Breeze Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:kiss:
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:iconautumnlit:
autumnlit Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
I like this, I feel like it works in hand with the thought that crows could carry or be the spirits of the dead? I'm not sure if that's what you were going with. I feel it could be up to the readers imagination. :heart:
I notice your description asks others not to download your work, with the new submit feature you can uncheck a box to the right in the edit screen that makes it so the download button is no longer available on your deviation. I hope that helps!
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:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Professional Writer
That's a deep way to look at it, crows carrying the spirits of the dead. In this case, it is 'her dark lover in the form of a crow.. and the imagination is definitely helpful for the rest ;)
Thanks for the tip about the downloading issue, I'll watch for that next time I submit.
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:iconautumnlit:
autumnlit Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
Anytime! ^^
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:iconfebruaryblue:
februaryblue Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
"And a myriad of talons will seed the sky — a primeval calling / of necromancy and lust untamed" is just so powerful, I shivered a little! Wonderful. :)
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:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Professional Writer
So pleased you like it my friend.
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:iconfebruaryblue:
februaryblue Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! :hug:
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:icondarksoultea2:
darksoultea2 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Very nice!
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:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you so much :)
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:icondarksoultea2:
darksoultea2 Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconwelcomeplz:
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:iconbeeinthebottle:
beeinthebottle Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012   Writer
This is lovely. I wanted to let you know, though, that "a myriad of" isn't grammatically correct. It's simply "myriad." So "myriad talons," in this case. Other than that, again, this is lovely.
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:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank for reading. Yes you are right, and essentially 'myriad' is thought of as an adjective. Myriad was actually used as a noun in English long before it was used as an adjective. There are still strong opinions today suggesting it can be used as both.
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:iconciscobuddy:
ciscobuddy Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
Beautiful.
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:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Professional Writer
Thanks :)
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:iconciscobuddy:
ciscobuddy Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
Very welcome.
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:iconjessicarabbit9519:
jessicarabbit9519 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Dark, scary, beautiful, and sad. Well done.
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:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you
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:iconidanderson:
IDAnderson Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Student Writer
dark as pitch with a quiter, moere understated approach to the sinister and malevolent. eerie stuff.
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:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Professional Writer
Thanks for your comments :)
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:iconidanderson:
IDAnderson Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student Writer
You're welcome.
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Necromancy and Devious Sacrifice, represented by the Crows that flow out upon the altar when the act is occurring.

Scary stuff, but worth reading. :)

Again, like "Lumen Naturae", the punctuation was spot on, and the theme was delivered to perfection. Wonderful! Keep at it!
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:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Professional Writer
Always appreciate your feed back, thank you kindly my friend.
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Your welcome :)

You've shown a significant improvement. This work and Lumen Naturae are at par with your Valhalla poem.

That's saying a lot.
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:iconsilverwynd:
SilverWynd Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Some beautiful and haunting imagery.
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:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Professional Writer
Thanks for commenting :)
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:iconusagi-chan-the-panda:
usagi-chan-the-panda Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012
Beautiful.
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:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you
Reply
:iconusagi-chan-the-panda:
usagi-chan-the-panda Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012
Your very welcome.
Reply
:iconiampoetry:
iamPoetry Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Gorgeous words and imagery.
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:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you, glad you like it :)
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:iconiampoetry:
iamPoetry Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome. Keep it up.
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:iconmomo587:
Momo587 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
"Upon her breath, I whispered softly in winged-caress:
"cast thy nightscapes unto the ache of gossamer streams"
So she closed her eyes and her demon lover hungered long..
— Forever the Crow — shimmering in her darkest dreams"

My oh My! phenomenal as ever.
Reply
:iconarthurcrow:
ArthurCrow Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Professional Writer
Thanks ever so much my friend :)
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